CAI Lab 11/20

Love Poem- Prose in Minor Key

I heard from a poet that I love, that writing a love poem is the kiss of death. She said, "I have heard some love poems that are so bad they make your ass hurt." I'll just be frank. Chances are this poem will suck a pucker face that lemons bring because I am going down that soiled and much often poorly trodden path of writing love poem.

I had lunch today with a woman I love, my mother. She said that love should be easier than what I've encountered. She said, about my situation, "Men are like buses. Just when you think you've missed one, another is pulling up." I'll just be frank. Chances are I wouldn't recognize the bus I should be on anyway, even if it had my name on it in hot pink.

I talked with a friend I love today, about love, and she thought my idea was totally wonky. She said, "If what you want is to not care, then he shouldn't be your boyfriend." I'll just be frank. Chances are she is right, he shouldn't be my boyfriend because I wouldn't even try to write a punch you in the neck lemon suck love poem about him.

I had a conversation with myself today, about love, and I learned the secret of life! I said to myself, "Well, what you need to learn is how not to care! Because if you don't give a rats ass about someone they can't hurt you." I'll just be frank. Chances are this is some of the best advice I've ever heard.

It then occurred to me: There is a pin needle like a puffer fish thin line between love and hate.

Erotic Poem- Lucky Girl

I wish I had the inspiration to write any number of
wonderful oo-y goo-y drippy sappy love sick things
about you, or your body, or your mind, or your heart.
You probably think you deserve them
and that I'd write a many splendor-ed piece
expounding on your glory and what a lucky girl I am.

I wish I could parody your arms to bulls horns
your chest to spaghetti and meat sauce
or your hands to circus performers and midgets.
You probably think I'd come up with something good
Full of delicious entdres and sensually alluring words
to glorify your name and to detail what a lucky girl I am.

I wish I could be tongue and cheek and
make some joke about lollipops and gum drops
and speak of how you taste like candy.
You probably think you do taste like a strawberry lollipop
That I would just want to lick you all day long
because you are just that glorious and what a lucky girl I am.

I wish I could find a way to explain to you
whisper in your pinprick ears that I understand
why your last girlfriend punched you in the face.
My words an angry badger trapped in my throat
just waiting to explode lime slug puss all over
because you really so very glorious and what a lucky girl I am.

I wish constantly you were someone else
and I wish you'd just go away
leave me alone
Your worth crumbs on the floor
I don't ever want your touch
I only want to be rid of you
And destroy the word together.

"Tired Of Being Sorry"
Enrique Iglesias

I don't know why
You want to follow me tonight
When in the rest of the world
With whom I've crossed and I've quarreled

Let's me down so
For a thousand reasons that I know
To share forever the unrest
With all the demons I possess
Beneath the silver moon

Maybe you were right
But baby I was lonely
I don't want to fight
I'm tired of being sorry

Eighth and Ocean Drive
With all the vampires and their brides
We're all bloodless and blind
And longing for a life
Beyond the silver moon

Maybe you were right
But baby I was lonely
I don't want to fight
I'm tired of being sorry
I'm standing in the street
Crying out for you
No one sees me
But the silver moon

So far away - so outer space
I've trashed myself - I've lost my way
I've got to get to you got to get to you
Maybe you were right
But baby I was lonelyI don't want to fight
I'm tired of being sorry
I'm standing in the street
Crying out for you
No one sees me
But the silver moon

Maybe you were right
But baby I was lonely
I don't want to fight
I'm tired of being sorry
I'm standing in the street
Crying out for you
No one sees me
But the silver moon.

I find some of the elements in this poem surprising such as the line about the "Vampires and their brides" and "with all the demons I possess." I've read this poem over a bunch of times and the best meaning I can come up with as far as what this poem is about: A guy, the singer, has been turned into a monster by his own demons, or (oddly enough) he met a vampire, who turned him into a vampire, and now, b/c of his choices, he lost his love, who, now because he is undead (or something like that) she can't see him. Only the silver moon can see him. I like the creepy element these lyrics proffer. There are great images of darkness, darkness of the world and within, that really make this poem very real and relate-able. Vampire could be a metaphor for some personal monster, such a person in your life that "sucks you dry" every time you see them.

I like the raw desperation in this song, that is repeated in the chorus. It is simple: "cry out for you" but it covers the bases nicely. It very adequately displays the loneliness a person can feel, even when in a relationship.

I am surprised by the line "I've trashed myself." Not quite sure what that means in reference to the rest of the poem. Could mean self punishment, or even giving all to a relationship and walking away feeling trashed because all that person did was use you up.

My response poem:

I don't know why
I can't seem to shake free from you
I'd love a good fight
Anger trapped in my throat
I understand the reasons why
other's only wanted to punch your face.

Makes me worry about all the demons I posses
that I'd stick here for mediocrity
to try to build you up
while I trash myself
to convince you how wonderful you are
when I am the one who needs convincing

I'd bleed the Ocean dry
with all the tears I cried
I am longing for the light
to shine on my face
to show me where to turn
the illuminate the words

I worry I am just lonely
that anyone would be adequate
that I am not as good and I thought
That even a porn star would tarnish
the shine I thought I had
the shine that gets sucked dry by you.

Song For A Winter's Night
Sarah Mclachlan

The lamp is burning low upon my table top the snow is softly falling
The air is still within the silence of my room I hear your voice softly calling
If I could only have you near to breathe a sigh or two
I would be happy just to hold the hands I love on this winter night with you

The smoke is rising in the shadows overhead my glass is almost empty
I read again between the lines upon the page the words of love you sent me
If I could know within my heart that you were lonely too
I would be happy just to hold the hands I love upon this winter night with you

The fire is dying now, my lamp is growing dim the shades of night are lifting
The morning light steals across my windowpane where webs of snow are drifting
If I could only have you near to breathe a sigh or two
I would be happy just to hold the hands I love and to be once again with with you
To be once again with with you

I think this is one of the most beautiful songs I have heard. I think it is a great unconventional Christmas song since it is from her Christmas album New Christmas.

I love the images she evokes such as "webs of snow are drifting" and "smoke is rising in the shadows overhead."

I think that this song encapsulates the loneliness of winter while at the same time being a love song. There is lovely juxtaposition of these two elements, the loving/longing for another person mirrored against the winterscape. Even though this song/poem has sad undertones, since the speaker doesn't have what they want, there are still warm undertones, such as referencing a warm fire. This helps to paint the whole picture--of a person who is sleepless, missing their love, and actually seems to be enjoying the cold bleak of winter. The overall effect is mesmerizing and entrancing.

I especially enjoy how simply she puts her request of what would make her happy: "to hold the hands I love on this winters night." Sometimes just plainly saying something is the most poetic way to go.

11/6/08 CAI Lab Blackbird response

i.

Among the slews and hoards crowding the bar
The only moving thing
Was the flutter flutter of my heart.

ii.

I was of three minds,
Like love,
In which there are many sorts and kinds.

iii.

I twirled my hair and leaned in watching for signs
It was a small part of the smoke dance.

iv.

A girl and a boy
Breathe in and out
A girl and a boy and love
Linked by tendrils of smoke.

v.

I do not understand love, or what type to prefer,
The beauty of my eyes on you
Or the beauty of your visible thoughts
The love smoke signaling
Dance is breathing.

vi.

Warmth fleshes out the dark corners
With red tinted light
The smoke of the dancer
Traces fingers, breathes in and out
The mood
Entranced in the divine
Illuminating a perfect cause.

vii

O empty people out for frivolity
Who do you imagine meeting?
Do you not see how the smoke obscures
Ribbons around the feet
Blinds with sauce friends?

viii

I know there are some
Lucky, loved, smoked for good
But I know, too
That the smoke is deceptive
And flees when there is fear.

ix

When the smoke flies straight into your eyes,
Understand you are marked for beauty
Welcome into one of many circles.

x

At the sight of smoke
Uncurling and unfurling
Even the happiest
Would be affected deeply.

xi

I walked all over State
In a French maid costume
Once, the smoke found me,
In that I understood
What was meant for me,
And my feather duster.

xii

The arms I love are beckoning.
The smoke must be defusing.

xiii

It was Halloween all night.
It was alive
And it was going to burn.
The smoke signals sent
And received in the bar.